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You Asked: Should I Move in With Him?

Dear Sugar--

I am 33 years old. I was in a dead-end relationship for 9 years and lived with someone who really had no intention of marrying me; he was even afraid to talk about it. I moved out and broke up with him in December, moved in with a friend of mine and began dating a man that I have known for 8 years and things have been WONDERFUL!

I now need to move again because my roommate is getting married. Only trouble is I really cannot afford another move, let alone another apartment. I have been dating my new beau since December (again, have been good friends for 8 years) and he wants me to move in with him. He has offered to buy a new house with me; add me to the deed; he isn't asking me to pay anything, he says he just wants me happy and safe and settled with the stability I long for. My father says why wait another 9 years to see if it works, that I should just go for it. I am excited and want to, but I know I will hear a lot of "opinions" that I am doing the wrong thing. Do you have any words of wisdom?

--Excited (but unsure) Eliza

To hear DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Excited (but unsure) Eliza--

Since you have known this guy for 8 years, and you love him and he loves you, I say why not go for it! It sounds like he's really caring and sincere, and is exciting about sharing a home with you. I am a firm believer in living with someone before making the lifetime commitment of marriage, so if you feel in your heart that this guy "could be the one," take a chance!

Since you were with someone in a previous relationship that wasn't into marriage, you want to make sure you know what you're getting into before you pack up and move in. Casually have a chat with your beau and find out what his future plans are, if he wants to get married someday and whether or not he wants kids. Tell him what you want too - lay it all out on the table so this doesn't turn into another dead-end relationship.

Don't worry what anyone else thinks. People will always have opinions no matter what you do, so just follow your gut. You'll never know unless you give it a try Eliza. Who knows, this could be your future husband! How exciting! I hope everything works out for you.


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