


Should I end the relationship? I think in some way if I do, I'll be better off without him. But after 11 years and all that he has done for me, I'd feel really sad.

-- Frustrated in Minneapolis

Dear Frustrated: Although I'm sure Harold has many virtues, sensitivity and discretion do not appear to be among them. It would be interesting to know if he would be willing to marry you if your FICO score improved, or if he's using it as an excuse because he doesn't want a legal commitment.


Couples counseling could help you decide what to do. Inquire at your nearest gay/ lesbian community center about seminars it offers for longtime couples on this subject. Just because people can marry doesn't necessarily mean they should.

Dear Abby: "Jesse," my boyfriend of two years, has suddenly changed. He's pushing me away. We are both 17 and have a 9-month-old baby.

Jesse spent the first six months of our son's life in state custody. Since he has been back, he ignores me and isn't affectionate. When I get upset about it, he denies it.         My son deserves a family, but it's falling apart. What should I do?

-- Troubled

Dear Troubled: You have no idea what might have happened to Jesse after he was sent away, so give him some space. But also let him know that if he wants to talk about it, you are willing to listen and be supportive. Don't push, and don't be clingy.

Complete your education, take parenting classes and encourage Jesse to do it, too. Do this and your son will have a family, whether or not it's the one you thought you'd have with Jesse.
