Conversation Starters

How to Step-Up Your Tinder Game

Originally posted on

We've all been there: You're sitting at brunch with your BFF who is mindlessly swiping her thumb across her iPhone screen not listening to your really important story. Why? She's Tindering. Tinder, the hot-or-not dating app that connects singles within a certain radius (users can see select Facebook photos and friends in common), has quickly become one of the most popular ways to score a date. Yes, Grindr for straight people has arrived and it's catching on quick.

The app appeals largely to women and men, ages 18-35, and boasts impressive stats: 200 million profile swipes per day (users swipe through potential matches—a swipe to the left indicates interest), leading to over three million new matches per day and 300 million matches worldwide so far.

We recently caught up with the app's VP, Whitney Wolfe, at Tinder's headquarters on the Sunset Strip in L.A. to chat about why the Tinder empowers single ladies, what strategies you should employ to get asked out, and why it's not just a "hook-up" app.

Why is Tinder different from other social media outlets?
Facebook, for example, does a great job of organizing and keeping you in touch with the network you already have, but it’s hard to meet new people. If someone new adds you, even when you have 12 mutual friends, you question it. You ask yourself, "Why are you adding me?" There’s a barrier—online and in real life. So, we’re trying to get you to say "hello" in a socially acceptable way.

Tinder is empowering for women. Why do you think it gives us Sadie Hawkin-style courage?
In a bar, a girl might not approach a guy or make the first move. But, you are always looking around, [evaluating men] thinking "yes," "no," "yes," "no." Online, I would never friend a random cute guy on Facebook or start liking his pictures on Instagram—even if I had a crush on him. But with Tinder, it’s like following or friending each other at the same time. The risk of revealing your feelings is removed.

Should we worry about rejection on Tinder?
You’ll never know [if someone is rejecting you], and you won’t think about it. You’re too busy swiping and doing your own thing.

What are your tips for setting up a Tinder profile?
Be genuine. Put out what you want to receive, that’s the same for real life and Tinder. I’m not going to dress like a "hoochie" in real life, because I don’t want to be perceived that way. And be relevant. Don’t put up a picture when you were 17 and had the best body. It’s a real-life representation. Put your best face forward.

Is there a Tinder strategy for users?
Tinder carefully, because you cannot go back [and re-see someone's profile] yet. For the time being, if you swipe "no" to someone, he or she is gone [from your feed], and sometimes it happens accidentally. It’s like real-life missed connections. My best advice for a new Tinder user is don’t just start swiping left or right. Take a moment and really evaluate everyone’s photos before you say "yes" or "no." Sometimes people don’t know what they are doing when choosing photos. You might see the first one and think "absolutely not," but then he’s scuba diving in the third and, wow, you love that.

Does technology ever have a negative effect on meeting someone?
In real life, we are all on our devices. We might go to a place where we fit the crowd and could meet someone. But, because we are all on our phones, you might not notice the cute boy behind you in line for coffee, and he’s not going to notice the gorgeous girl sitting outside. So, we might as well notice them on our phones, on Tinder.

The apps still has a bit of a "hook-up" reputation, meaning that the people on it are looking for one-night stands and such.
We don’t call Tinder a dating app. We don’t call it anything. We are creating connections that the users get to define. I get very defensive over [that reputation]. Most of the people who say that about Tinder haven’t used the app. If you ask anyone on Tinder if it is a hook-up app, the answer is unequivocally "no." So, if you’re afraid that Tinder is a hook-up app, then don’t use it. But I’d say to that person, "Don’t go out to a bar either. Stay at home. Don’t go out at night. Stay at home and cook by yourself for yourself."

When and where does the app work best?
Anywhere. All times. That’s the beauty of it. You can be eating Ben & Jerry’s in bed and find a guy. Tinder puts the convenience of dating in your lap. You see people up to 50 miles around you, or you can change the radius down to one mile.

Tinder has a global reach, too.
We are growing out of control. We are international. So, even when you are traveling, you can meet relevant people via Tinder. I can’t tell you how many stories of normal, very cool friends meeting up with other very cool, normal two-degrees-of-separation people in Berlin, Croatia, South America, and South Africa. Anytime you have a mutual friend, you can meet anyone, anywhere in the world.

Photo: Ashley Terrill

Tags: tinder
This Is A Developing Story

Start a Conversation