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One step away

Posted Sep 07 2008 8:36pm

There are times when I am literally one step away from exiting my car, opening up the back, finding the tire iron and beating the crap out of the car in front of me.

Can anyone say anger issues? Road rage?

I have lived in Santa Rosa, California most of my 23 years of existance…of those 23 years I have been driving for 6 full years, they have been “renovating” highway 101 for most of those 6 years. So there is a lot of traffic, what I mean by a lot of traffic is that my commute to the old dialysis clinic was at least 20 miles away from where my parents lived.

A 20 mile commute took me an hour and a half. An hour and a half of seriously considering ramming into the car ahead of me, or just leaving the damn piece of crap Ford Focus I drove for 5 of those 6 years right in the middle of the road.

The thing about California drivers, however, is that we are a bunch of aggressivelittle behind the wheelers, we weave in and out of traffic, if spent a second to long at a green light a symphony of honks errupts behind you. It is the music of highway 101.

Having left California behind me for the slower pace of Washington, I have noticed a few things that have made me more and more noticible as a Californian. This will perhaps be my greatest downfall.

When traveling through the lower eastern part of the great state of Washington, I noticed a lot, I mean a lot of Christian rock stations, ranging from perhaps this is Christian rock or just rock with a positive message that isn’t about bangin’ the ladies or drinking then there is the um, really, really religious Christian rock about Jesus dying on a cross and leaking blood all over the ground. There is also a lot of Country. In Seattle, well to be honest I have kind of given up on the radio, personally I am just a little afraid of what might actually be on there.

Another example about how weird different Washington is. People drive the speed limit! I mean really, they drive the speed limit, like even the younger people. They also pause when the light turns green, like maybe, perhaps it’s just a trick, that perhaps it will turn red again and they will be trapped in the intersection. Dear lord.

Oh the traffic lights, slower then the ones in Florida, no wonder there is traffic problems in Seattle, everyone waits 5 minutes for the light to change.

This is just about the time my right eyelid starts to twitch and the fucks and bitches and oh my god, I will beat you with a tire iron start to spring from my mouth.

Just be happy my actual tired iron is below the back bench seat and you have to unscrew it before you can actually beat someone with it, that would probably take up the entire five minutes waiting for the light.

I do love you Seattle, but really, learn to drive.

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