Date: Tue, 13 Jan 2004 21:36:02 -0500 From: Jeff Wilson Subject: W.A.R. Part Five - Chapter 10 W.A.R. Part Five - Secrets Chapter 10 -- Dustin's Revenge by Jeff Wilson Dustin lay there out cold. His blood had formed a puddle around him. In one second, a thousand thoughts went through my head of what he had done to himself. It could have been anything. It didn't take me long to realize that he had drank every last bit of beer in the cans. I recognized the brand as the kind his dad drank. At first I thought that he had just drank himself stupid and had fallen over and cracked his head open. Then I realized that something far worse had happened. Both of his wrists were gashed open. Blood was still oozing from each wrist. The realization sank in as to what I had stumbled upon. Dustin was trying to kill himself. He drank himself into a stupor then cut his wrists, hoping to die out here in the cold. Well he was still alive, and I wasn't going to let him die if I could help it. I took my coat off and my shirt. It was cold but I didn't care. I ripped the shirt in half and tried each half around one of Dustin's wrists. I hauled him up and put my coat over him. Then I lifted him up over my shoulder. He puked down my back, but at the moment I didn't care. I had to get him to help. I started toward my house, before I realized that no one was home. So I ran as fast as I could, carrying Dustin on my back to Brett's house. I didn't even knock, I just broke their door lock and barged right in. "Dr, Reilly! Brett!! Help me!" I shouted. I walked into their living room and laid Dustin's body on the floor. Brett came running down the stairs in just his boxers. "Billy what's... HOLY FUCK!" Brett yelled when he saw Dustin. He practically flew down the rest of the stairs and immediately started giving directions. "Billy, call an ambulance! Then call my mom's cell. Keep her on the phone and fill her in. She should be on the way home anyway. Go!" I quickly ran to the kitchen and used the portable phone to call 911. "Hello, operator. What is the nature of your emergency?" "My friend tried to kill himself, we need an ambulance, right now." "What is your name please?" "William Roberts. Just please, send the ambulance." "How old are you, sir?" "God dammit, this isn't a fucking joke. He cut his fucking wrists and his gonna fucking bleed to death. Please send an ambulance!" "Calm down, sir." "I'll calm down when you send the fucking ambulance." "What is the address, please?" "115 Summit Road, Donora. Now send somebody, please!" "Is this your address, William?" "No, it's my friend's" "Your friend who cut his wrists?" "No, my goddamn boyfriend's. Jesus Christ woman, just send a fucking ambulance already." I got frustrated and hung up the phone. I quickly called Brett's mom. "Hello?" "Jen! It's Billy!" "Well he..." "You've got to get here right now!" "I'm in Monongahela, what's happened? Is Brett..." "It's not Brett, it's Dustin! He tried to kill himself." "What? Oh my god, what happened?" "I found him in the woods on the way over. I think he drank all of his dad's beer and cut his wrists. I thought he was dead when I found him." "I'll be there in five minutes. Did you call an ambulance?" "It should be on the way but I think they thought it was a prank." "Listen, Billy. Cut off the circulation to those wrists, then elevate them. You want to keep as much blood in him as you can. Understand?" "Yes." "Also, if he vomits, you have to clear his throat or he could choke to death." "He threw up on the way here." "Okay. I'm going to hang up so I can get there without crashing. Billy, stay calm. I'm almost there." "Okay." She hung up, but I brought the phone with me anyway. Brett said, "Let me talk to her." "She hung up." "What? Billy! I needed to ask her what to do!" "She told me. Come on, let's go." The next five minutes were some of the longest minutes of my life. We did what Dr. Reilly said, holding up Dustin's hands. We heard a car pull up and Dr. Reilly came running into the house. "The ambulance is on the way now. You were right Billy, they didn't believe you. Brett, go upstairs and put some pants on and bring a shirt for Billy. Billy, you help me to see if we can wake him up." It hadn't even occurred to me that Brett had been sitting there in his boxers that whole time. I don't think he cared either, but he did as he was told. Dr. Reilly had smelling salts but Dustin didn't wake up. This seemed to make her nervous. "What does that mean?" I asked. "It means he's in a lot of trouble. I hear the ambulance." Brett brought me a shirt and quickly wiped my back off. I pulled the shirt on as Dr. Reilly brought the EMT's into the house. She was explaining to them what happened while they loaded him on a stretcher. She took her cell phone and went with the EMT's. "Brett, you have my number. Boys, you did great. You may have saved his life. I'll call Mrs. Smith on the way to the hospital. Billy, you better head on home. Brett, take what you need for tonight, lock up the house, and go with him." Then she jumped into the ambulance and they drove off. I sighed very deeply. Everything had just happened so fast that I didn't have time to take it all in until it was over. I turned to say something to Brett, but he had already gone into the house. I walked inside and closed the door. Brett was in the living room trying to clean up the mess. "He got blood on our carpet." Brett said, his voice sounding really awkward, but I couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. He stayed turned away from me. "He was out cold, Brett. I don't think he had much choice." I said. "Stupid idiot..." Brett said, then sniffled. "What the fuck was he trying to do?" "Brett..." "Why would he do that?" Brett's voice quivered. "Stupid idiot... Look at what he did." "Are you crying?" I asked. "No. It's just... Why the hell did he try to... He just..." Brett sat down on the floor and leaned his back on the chair. I saw that there were tears running down his still-bruised cheeks. His eyes still had slightly purple coloration from when Dustin had attacked him. I sat down next to him and put my arm over his shoulders. Brett shrugged me off of him and stood up. "Stop it. I don't need to be treated like a little kid." "Sorry... It's okay though. I feel bad, too..." I said. "It's my fault, Billy." Brett said, his words choking him as he spoke. "What? That's not true." I replied. "I never should have opened my big mouth." "No. That's just wrong. Dustin was getting raped by his own father, Brett. You were the only one brave enough to try to stop it. You always tell me that I'm a good person, but I never had the courage to do that. You're a hero." "I'm not a hero, Billy. Dustin just tried to kill himself because of what I did. I don't even know why I told. You realize that? I just opened my mouth and it all came out. I wasn't even thinking. Look what it did. I ruined his life. Just because my dad did something it didn't mean I had to go and fuck up his family." "Brett, listen to yourself. His dad was raping him. He was getting fucked by his own damn father. He was in the hospital because of it. And if you hadn't said anything he would have done it again!" "You don't know that!" Brett shouted angrily at me. "Why don't you just shut up about it, okay! I just went in with no evidence and ruined all of their lives and now Dustin's gone and tried to kill himself! I might as well have shot him myself!" "What the hell are you talking about?" I shouted back at him. "You stopped something horrible from happening, and now you think what you did was wrong. Dustin's fucked up in the head, Brett. He's been getting his mind messed with for all these years. I'm surprised he didn't try to kill himself sooner. It wasn't your fault, so quit crying and get over it!" "I... I can't help it." Brett said, looking surprised that I'd yelled at him. I realized that we were getting nowhere. "Come on... Let's get you packed and get back to my house. We'll talk to my dad about it. He'll know what to do... I hope." I said. I ended up doing most of the packing while Brett sat in his chair with his head in his hands and Bob Cat on his lap, trying to get a grip on what had happened. I never thought I'd see Brett so shook up by something more than me. I guess I was so focused on taking care of everybody that I didn't have a chance to think about it. Brett had a long talk with dad when we got home. They talked about a lot of stuff, including talking about me. It really helped Brett to hear from dad himself that he loved him and wasn't angry that we were together. Dad's always had a way of calming people down when they need it. I had a lot of trouble going to sleep that night. My mind never stopped going full throttle reliving the events of the day. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Okay. This chapter took a long time for me to finish. Not the first half, but the conversation afterward. I mean what do you say after something like this happens? Both boys were so stunned by it that there was really no way that I could have them carry on any kind of meaningful conversation. Now, some people I know are going to be quite angry about this chapter. Well, I'm not sorry. Unfortuately, this kind of thing happens too often. I think I read that suicide is one of the top ten causes of death for teens. Dustin survived, thousands don't. Some of you dear readers picked up several chapters ago that there were warning signs that Dustin was becoming a danger to himself. I hope that you will also be aware of the signs in real people. I'm also sure that some reader of this story will know somebody who right now may be thinking of doing something like Dustin. I would recomend that you take it seriously and not brush it off. A person who talks of suicide may decide to do it, and that is always a terrible shame. I also know that there may be someone reading this story who is thinking that suicide may be a solution to your problems. What a tragedy. If suicide is a top ten cause of death for teens, it is a top five or worse cause of death for gay teens. Please remember that there is much more to life than who you'd like to fuck. Part of the reason for writing this story has been to show that there is more to life than sexual orientation. Find somebody to talk to, a teacher, a trusted friend, a friend's parent, or your mom or dad. Tell them what you are feeling. Get your feelings out there. Don't let your emotions destroy you. Life is too precious. I don't want anyone to end up like Dustin, or worse. Next time: Restroom Conversations