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"Must-Have" baby gear you hate

post #1 of 36
Thread Starter 
Every time I go to a baby shower, this issue hits me again. I remember when I had babies and there was this huge list of stuff people treated as necessities which absolutely where not. Which is not to say that some parents in some particular circumstances could find them useful, or even necessary for them, but for things like (my personal pet peeve) a pack-n-play to be treated like a necessity for everyone as soon as she finds out she's pregnant drives me crazy! It's just a huge marketing tool. And everyone I know would never dream of using about anything used, like to have a used pack-n-play is neglectful or something.

I guess this is a rant on marketing and pregnant women/new parents, but what is on your list of stuff that people seem to think is necessary but really isn't at all? And is there any "must-have" stuff you feel really negatively about?
post #2 of 36

I guess we live in a community much more insulated from that kind of thing.  Our big "must-have" was a BOB jogger that my in-laws bought for us.  We would have found a used one, but they really wanted to contribute a somewhat big gift and wouldn't have been comfortable buying something used.  Everything else we got used or as a hand-me-down and most of my friends who are parents did the same thing, though we all could have technically afforded to buy stuff new.


The stuff that amazes me personally are all these contraptions that take up so much room that the kid is only in for pretty short periods of time.  We got a used swing and bouncer from my SIL and we probably used both twice because our daughter just refused to be put down for the first four months of her life.  So that was a huge waste of space.  Huge play mats (we got two for my shower and I returned them because they were too big) and big exersaucers that take up half the room always amazed me.  We did, however, get a doorway bouncer that my daughter loved when she got older that was great.


I guess the "necessity" thing is so variable since every kid/family is different and will need different things.  So there's no "one thing" I find problematic, but really it's the massive collection of junk and the waste of money and resources it represents.  It makes much more sense to borrow a swing or a bouncer from a friend or buy one used or find one on Freecycle so you can find out if your child is actually going to use it before wasting money buying it new. 

post #3 of 36
I thought I had posted a reply to this thread, but maybe it was another one? I have a love/hate relationship with babywearing and all associated gear. I like that it's less gear for any one outing than a travel system, but hate that we bought 6 different carrier styles to find that none are really much better than the next and that all started hurting my back once she hit 12 lbs. I cheered the first day she was happy being put down and breathed a sigh of relief to find she enjoys the stroller.

Yet, despite all my negative emotions, I still love carrying her around when she is fussy and when I am running errands that require free hands.

But I personally didn't find it fun to collect and research seemingly infinite carries and brands like some do just to still undergo weeks of trial and error. And oh the look DH gave me when I bought our 6th carrier, even though it was used!
post #4 of 36

Carriers (of all kinds) never really worked for me and my back hurt terribly with all of them.  Also, we found out our daughter had hip dysplasia so she wasn't supposed to be in one anyway.  Basically, carriers are like the ultimate symbol of all my pre-baby plans that didn't work out ;-)


As for the rest, what you really "must have" is a cousin or sibling who thoughtfully spaces out their children JUST RIGHT so you can borrow everything you need only for a short time and then pass it on to the  next baby so you don't have to store it!  That has miraculously worked well in my family so my daughter's high chair is on it's fourth or fifth baby, the pack and play lives at my grandparents and there's always a baby small enough to nap in it, the bouncer has a happy bouncee almost always.  But no one has ever taken to the swing ;-)

post #5 of 36

Wipes warmers....I never had one so maybe some people cant live without them, but I find them to be the strangest item for a baby. And we were gifted one of those bumpo seats or whatever they are called, tried it once and he HATED it, seemed pretty pointless to have as well, when my son can sit up he will simply do it on his own, right?! shrug.gif

post #6 of 36
I think a "nursery" isn't necessary. Of course , I had one with my first babe, but now expecting our 6th, I realize a matching bumper pad/sheet set/wall hanging was all a bit frivolous. However, the pack 'n play we received with our first baby is now going to be used with our 6th, as it has been every baby since our first. We don't have room or own a crib, so for naps or when they are old enough to move out of our bed, the pack 'n play has been the 'crib'. My list for each subsequent baby has gotten shorter and shorter because I've realized we don't really *need* it and I don't want to mess with cleaning/storing/ find room for it!!
post #7 of 36

I second the wipes warmer! 


I'll add the infant mittens. I always feel so sorry for those poor babies I see w/ their hands in those obnoxious mittens, for the sake of protecting the baby from scratching her eyes out or something.  So the poor babe has just had it's nice, warm, utero world rocked via birth, it's in this cold, bright world, and now you've taken away her hands?!?  That's just mean. :P Sorry, that's a little soapboxish for such a small item. 


All the gender-specific gear.  I was in the baby aisles of target, and even baby bathtubs now come in just two colors: blue and pink.  


I did find the bumpo (I have the bebe pod) incredibly useful for my 2nd and 3rd babies. They want to see what their brothers and sisters are doing long before they have the ability to sit up.  Letting them sit on the floor in the bumpo near where siblings were playing gave them a whole new view of life! :) 


I'm currently expecting #4, and I was just thinking...if you were to take a piece of baby gear away from me, what would make me cry? I'd say my ergo, ring sling and moby, my swaddle designs blanket, and my "my brest friend" pillow. And onsies and babylegs. And the birdseye flats (the real ones, not the ones you get at walmart) I use as burp cloths. 

post #8 of 36
Changing table..baby wipe warmer...baby monitor..15 different contraptions to set your baby down in (one should do the trick)..baby Einstein videos (gag me).
post #9 of 36

We don't yet have a room for our baby, or a crib. She sleeps in a pack-n-play in our bedroom and that works well for us so far (I bought a firm foam mattress for it and she sleeps great!). So I don't really think new parents should be concerned with spending money on setting up a dedicated room with furniture and decorating it. I agree with the wipe warmer comments, and one thing that really gets me (and it's not a must-have but I see them all the time in photos) is baby girl headbands....I just think babies look kind of silly with a big bow or flower on their little head, and it just looks uncomfortable. I am also not "girly" so our daughter doesn't really see anything ruffly or sparkly (though some pink stuff is cute)--probably adds to my dislike for headbands. And relating to that...spending money on professional newborn pictures (complete with headbands and silly hats etc) is not for us, either...I think snapshots are totally sufficient or better because you get to see cozy snippets of daily life instead of posed baby-in-basket pics everyone does! 

post #10 of 36

Shopping cart covers!! They are too darn enormous to haul around with you, it's just ridiculous. And my baby didn't go in the shopping cart until he was probably 8 or 9 months old, anyway - he was always in the Ergo at the store. By that point, any germ phobias I might have had were long gone. (Sidenote: Another mom I work with today said she refuses to take her baby to Walmart due to germs. And I thought to myself, "Wow, must be nice to have the option of doing that!", because my dh is gone so much I'd just have to never go to Walmart if I couldn't take my baby!)


I mentioned how utterly ridiculous shopping cart covers were at a mommy group I go to, though, and two or three moms piped up at how amazing and totally necessary they are. I was shocked. To each their own!

post #11 of 36

I'm expecting my second after a 5-year wait and I'm obsessing about having a proper swing and I can't shake myself out of it.  It will probably be useless furniture, but what's a nesting mama to do? My first was an unsleeper and refused to sleep at all during the day unless right on top of me (which I couldn't do after I started working again -- I'm a satellite employee who had hoped for nap time to get things done, like phone calls and such -- HA! I know better now.) I somehow have it in my brain that if I have a really nice swing I might be able to squeak out a nap once day. Maybe.  


(I know I'm probably wrong -- but a girl can dream, right?) 


With my first we were given so much useless stuff:

bath tub - i just got in the bath or used the kitchen sink.

bottle warmers (for a breast-fed baby who hated bottles) 

shoes -- my kid didn't wear shoes until he was walking on hazardous things outside.  

swaddlers - blankets work fine if you're doing that and we live in a hot climate so it's too hot to use most of those

mitts for newborns - sure he poked his eye a few times, but I kept his nails trimmed as best I could and we just went with it

pacifiers (yeah, that was a no go with my "if it doesn't taste like skin, I don't want it" baby) 

crib - over size laundry basket, you mean? 

stroller (that was a big ol' NOPE for my kid.  He screamed like it was torture and it collected dust in our garage) 

bottles and most bottle accessories -- i shouldn't have bothered to register for that stuff.  It never got used

those hand mitt rattles that velcro onto straps on hands and feet

a car seat mirror -- that's a safety issue.  it can become detached in the car in an accident, same with those suction cup window shades. 

shopping cart cover (yeah, once my kid would sit in there, I didn't really care if he picked up germs)

"fancy" clothes for a newborn boy.  Once I had a baby, I couldn't imagine putting my him in anything that had uncomfortable looking seams or scratchy fabrics.  No denim, khaki or anything like that.  We had him in onesies and jumpers most of the time. 



this time around, if I had a registry, i'd have a nursing necklace (to try to discourage twiddling), more nursing tanks. I honestly can't think of much else I really, truly want or need. 

post #12 of 36

I decorated a beautiful nursery for my daughter... I realize that was really more my type A personality and this was mainly for me. However she did love her room and we have used every single thing in it! I loved my baby monitor because I could go work in the yard while she napped or lay out by the pool and read. I think necessity is subjective. My lifestyle, house arrangements, region of the country and income will substantially change what I find "cant live without" vs another person. I spend alot of my time at various family members so a pack and play was indispensable for me! Most of my baby gear I am reusing for this baby and I am finding I just need to replace blue for all the pink I have for my daughter. However I am decorating another nursery for the new baby and very very excited about it!


However I totally second wipe warmers being freaking useless and I look at them as a fire hazard. Also I hate those baby mitten like one of the previous posters said they make me incredibly sad for the baby!

post #13 of 36

All of it.  I am so not a 'gear' person!  Of course we have some baby related things, and the best ones were saved by other mamas (because they found them to be super useful) and passed on to us.  The things we saved after our first son grew out of them: nursing pillow, diapers/clothes, Bumbo, wooden rattles and shakers, blankets, and carriers (wrap, ring sling, Ergo, and frame-pack).  Now DS2 is beginning to enjoy the 'gear' (he's just 2mos)!  We just bought a pacifier for this guy to keep people from putting things in his mouth (mostly dirty fingers), but so far it's a no go and it is making me feel like a dummy for buying it at all.  :eyesroll

post #14 of 36

I only like to have a carrier, bunch of cute cloth diapers, and.... a heavy duty stroller to push through the snow, put the grocery shopping in the rack underneath, and since it gets me on and off the city bus for free :)


and of course a few easy on/easy off comfy soft cotton clothes for baby-  but only a precious few, in tiny sizes since my huge kids jump up to twenty pounds within 15 weeks and skip through the infant sizes fast

post #15 of 36
To the poster mentioning naps...our son loved to nap on the floor on his tummy during that stage. We figured this out because he would fall asleep during tummy time. Put a pacifier in his mouth and be quiet, and he would sleep 2 plus hours there. Obviously supervise, no soft blankets.

That said, I had intentions of being minimalistic, and found that most things made my life sooo much better or easier that they merited the cost and the space they took up. Like a glider for nursing! I finally for one when he was 8 weeks. The bouncy seat enabled me to supervise him while showering. The sassy brand floor gym was great when I needed to set him down for myself to potty, but he was not in a tummy time mood.

We had him in his crib in our room from day 1, so no pack in play or bassinet. A bouncy seat Witt a handle is useful, but he also loved his fisher price 30 dollar one with no handle. Strollers that are heavy duty are great to get some exercise for yourself. You can only go so fast with an ergo carrier. Getting outdoors is importsnt
post #16 of 36

I'm about to be a first time mom, but I have 6 nieces so it's not like I don't have experience with babies.


With all of them, I found that changing tables were only good for storing stuff. I could just have shelves for storing my sons stuff instead of a changing table taking up room. 

Wiper warmers are stupid too. I know this sounds a little mean, but I loved the faces the girls made when I wiped their butts with a cold wipe. Made me laugh.

Baby combs, none of my nieces had hair when they were born and didn't start really growing hair till they were well over a year old. I might need one though, because from all my ultrasounds, this little boy already has a ton of hair.

Baby towels. We already have a full set of towels at home that are soft so I don't see the point in using special towels.

post #17 of 36

I really never got the point of baby towels. We used hand towels when she was itty bitty and then used regular-sized towels from there. We didn't have a changing table, but put a changing pad on top of a dresser, which has worked well. 


I think a lot of it is down to what works for you and your baby. I suppose, though, if you come from a giant family that likes to buy a ton of presents, you might as well register for everything and get rid of what you don't use. :eyesroll 


Our daughter had hip dysplasia too, but we never had trouble with carriers. We used a Mei Tai when she was in the hip harness and it worked great. 

post #18 of 36
If you have or get back pain, changing your baby on a bed might make your back worse. I had a changing pad on our bathroom countertop, but just swaddling him on the bed killed my back, because it's slightly lower than the tables. greensad.gif the floor is good when they are bigger. We ended up putting his changing pad on a dresser in his room. I will say, I'm glad he is in his own room now. Hubby sleeps better and our bond as a couple is better, because sometimes the minutes before we fall asleep are the only alone time we get, which is fine. I am getting way off topic though, sorry!!!! It's just that I actually wish I would have been more prepared, not less smile.gif I wish his nursery would have been done before he came, and it wasn't.

Never spend a lot on anything, because you will need things you neeeeeever thought you'd need, and of course some things won't get as much use as you thought. Luckily I don't have too many regrets wih actual purchases, except the ergo infant insert, but that was cheaper. If you live in a city that has it, go to a boutique that lets you try a bunch of carriers with your actual baby. Places that have mommy and me classes and an attached store generally do that. These are the same places that generally rent breast pumps.
post #19 of 36

Great rant!  I just recall with my first how much stuff i actually thought was just SO CRUCIAL ...and having to laugh now....with my third - we were in a small apartment and on a budget - no swing, no crib, no high chair....i bought a used Arms Reach co - sleeper and then re-sold it on Craigs List for 10$ less than what i paid for it.....got a changing table for free - ended up liking that purchase - although it was in our living room for about a year.....I think my MUST HAVES were a ring sling , the co- sleeper, and this is a weird one ....but waterproof pads - i had a HB so i made them for that - like terry cloth, flannel and PUL layered together - about 30X30 or so....we used them for sponge baths - for tummy time - to protect whatever mattress baby was sleeping on at the time....i still find uses for them

My two older kids - (in high school when # 3 came along)  opened up a bouncy seat we had received as a gift and put it all together and were SO excited about it - i told them to put it back in the box so i could take it back in exchange for clothes or diapers!   They called me scrooge and talked me out of it....sure enough he was in that thing like twice!  - i wound up selling that on CL too! 


Did anyone see the movie 'Babies"  ?  it was a documentary type film - came out i think in 2010 tracked 4 babies born in 4 different parts of teh world thru their first year - i remember seeing this African woman holding her little naked baby and then cleaning his little butt off by sliding him along her knee - lol - she was pretty thorough with him!  then she took a dried out corn cob and scrubbed the baby poop off of her knee....lol  - thats the last time i remember thinking about wipes warmers!  lol   

post #20 of 36

Some dear friends of ours had their first baby at the same time we had our third. I went to her baby shower and gifted her a boppy as my "essential". But I had to chuckle at the rest of the items she registered for. How are carseat strap covers a need? All I could think off was one more thing I would have to wash and keep track of. After 3 babies, and having #2 when we were low-income, there are very few things we think are essential anymore. Even though we are financially much better off with #3 we still don't have nearly the baby gear that most of our friends and neighbors have.

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