The Feminist Pub is Open - Chat, Rant, or pull up a chair here!

(1003 Posts)

This thread started when we all decided to imagine what the perfect local for feminists would be like. So far, it has taps with plenty of good real ale, and some decent non-alcoholic alternatives too. There are comfy chairs and there's a feminist film night, as well as lots of nice feminist-friendly books on the shelves and space to curl up and read. The open-mic nights are attracting feminist singers and comedians, and we're just sorting out the feminist creche.

Please come along, draw up a stool, and have a good chat about whatever you fancy - as serious or as trivial as you like.

For starters, I have a half-pint of lemonade. What can I get anyone?

SinisterSal Wed 30-Oct-13 12:26:55

It still all rested on unpaid female labour though, didn't it?

The unmarried daughter, the teenage niece or younger sister, the spinster aunt - they all kept the show on the road.

Women may have had more help, but it wasn't from men.

Not that men were automatically lazing about either

TheGhostofAmandaClarke Wed 30-Oct-13 12:47:20

It's all relative IMO.
Sometimes I feel I'm on my knees (that should please the MRAs thlwink)
Low mood (from the sleep deprivation), guilt, isolation, guilt, knackered body, identity crisis, guilt....lack of family support......and that all needs to be recognised for me/ any mother to feel anywhere near happy. It helps me to be nice to everyone else if I feel "heard"
But then I realise how incredibly fortunate I am. Two healthy DCs (touch wood), a decent DH, a home, clean water for my children to drink and bathe in, no war in my country, enough food and clothing......
And I am grateful. But thinking about all that hardship that so many people suffer sometimes makes me feel too sad/ anxious, rather than happy to appreciate what I have. <waffle blush>
I never felt that it would be glorious or fulfilling though (parenthood). My expectations were never very high. I just reached a time (probably later than ideal) when I thought i wanted to have a child and was lucky it worked out.
We don't see a lot of what goes on for mothers until we're doing it. So the good old days might well not have been as easy as they looked from our position of being children IYSWIM. Like how all the "shop floor" staff think the manager does fuck all, and then one of them is promoted and has a reality shock.

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