Horror Headlines: Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

The nautical chaps over at Anchor Bay have picked up the rights to "The Demented", a new flick about a group of friends who find themselves under attack by rabid townies while on vacation. I assume there will be nudity.

Two years Guillermo del Toro ago dropped that he would be working on a new big screen version of my beloved Disney ride "The Haunted Mansion". I wake up every morning hoping there is news on the project but alas, there has been none. Until today! D-Tors dropped knowledge that he has in fact handed in a draft of the script and is awaiting feedback. He very much still wants to make the film and may even direct, he was originally slated to produce and write. It's hard to explain just how excited I am about this. I throw up every day I get so excited.

Remember that guy from "The Loved Ones" who got kidnapped and all kinds of messed up? I mean he's the main character so if you don't remember him then something might be wrong with you. Well his name is Xavier Samuel and it looks like he's joined the cast of "Plush" about a singer of a band, or something, that gets caught up with a new guitar player who is a prick, or something. Honestly I don't get the plot and it sounds stupid but hey. "The Loved Ones" was pretty cool so let's get excited.

So here's a movie called "Strip Mahjong: Battle Royale". If you couldn't have guessed it's a Japanese flick and if you don't know what Mahjong is it doesn't really matter. The movie is ridiculous. And it's going to be awesome. Watch it, now.

In Real People News: 

A woman in China has come up with a clever idea on how to stop speeders in her hometown. Apparently she's taken it upon herself to tie a sex doll to a tree on a busy street in hopes that the doll will distract speeders and make them slow down. I don't see how anything can go wrong with this idea.

If you attack a cop and try to bite him you're pretty much guaranteed to be spending some time in jail. But if you do the crane stance from Karate Kid before you make your rush, well that's pretty awesome.


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