<p>im currently overiding the <code>WM_NCPAINT</code>, <code>WM_NCCALCSIZE</code> and <code>WM_NCACTIVATE</code> to paint my own color/themed title bar for an application im working on. Now this is working great however the min, max and close buttons still are xp default theme.</p>

<p>I looked into what controls them and the mouse messages do. However they also contol resizing and other functions that I dont want to lose.</p>

<p>Is there an easy way to just change the theme of these buttons?</p>

<ul>
<li>Windows XP</li>
<li>MFC Forms</li>
<li>Visual studio 2005</li>
</ul>

I think your best bet here is to disable the buttons and redraw them with something akin to to
the code I posted in this answer
. It's in C# with WinForms, but the vast majority of it is overloaded WndProc() anyway, which you should be able to use almost copy/paste into MFC.
Implementing click handlers to do what you want them to do is trivial.
Note: The asker of that question said the code didn't work in Vista. I don't have a Vista box, but it works for me in XP.