--[[
#####################################
Marvellous Inc.
Copyright (C) 2017  MarvellousSoft & USPGameDev
See full license in file LICENSE.txt
(https://github.com/MarvellousSoft/MarvInc/blob/dev/LICENSE.txt)
#####################################
]]--

local div = '_____________________________________________________________________\n'

return {
    title = "Your Newsletter Feed",
    text = [[
{blue}Mass shooting ends in thousands of victims{end}
]]..div..[[
An unidentified woman has killed thousands of people during a massive shooting. Local police were dispatched to the location, encountering heavy fire on site. SWAT teams were deployed, but the shooter managed to pin down the police despite being shot several times. The situation only ended when the unidentified woman shot herself in the head. However, latest reports by the police indicate the shooter is alive and in a coma in an undisclosed hospital under 24-hour supervision by authorities. A combination of various drugs were found in her system.
{blue}[More...]{end}

{blue}Alleged russian cyberattacks against EU{end}
]]..div..[[
Tensions at an all time high after suspected russian cyberattack against nuclear plants in the EU causes reactor meltdown.
{blue}[More...]{end}

{blue}"Apple fans are mindless cult followers!", complains local cult leader{end}
]]..div..[[
Yesterday, after the massive stampeding caused by crazed Apple fans due to this year's shortage of the new iPhone, Larry Michaels, leader of the Church of Larry, published a manifesto against Apple. Larry Michaels is the leader of the Church of Larry, a cult that believes its leader to be an envoy of a distant, ancient alien race. "Apple has brainwashed its users! It is utterly disgusting!", exclaims Mr. Michaels, who insists on being called His Eminence. "They are a cult! Just a bunch of mindless sheep! Wake up sheeple!", accuses His Eminence Larry Michaels.
{blue}[More...]{end}

{blue}Marvellous Inc. CEOs ask for peace{end}
]]..div..[[
After the increase in tensions in world geopolitics, the three Marvellous Inc. CEOs asked for a cooling between the four superpowers. "We have to put our differences aside and work towards the same goal", asked the letter signed by the three heads of the multinational. However, it appears this attempt at appeasement has fallen on deaf ears, as new provocations on all sides arise.
{blue}[More...]{end}

{blue}Unidentified Foreign Objects in Uranus{end}
]]..div..[[
George Johnson, a 42 year-old farmer, claims to have been anally probed by extraterrestrial beings from the planet of Uranus. Johnson described the aliens as "not like in them movies", but "hairy little things with them big eyes lookin' at you". The local authorities refused to investigate further, prompting the 42 year-old farmer to respond "they's all in cahoots with them Uranians, I tell you hwat!".
{blue}[More...]{end}

{blue}Marvellous Inc. reveals next product{end}
]]..div..[[
Last Thursday, a spokesperson to Marvellous Inc. revealed that a new product by the company is in its last testing stages. "It is truly going to revolutionize the way we live as a society", describes the spokesperson. Without giving more details, the company known for its tech gadgets and innovative research claims that their next product is going to make "wars, poverty, famine and crime a thing of the past".
{blue}[More...]{end}
]],
    author = "Newsletter (feed@newsletter.com)",
    can_be_deleted = true
}
