-- character name =  {specific insult}

return {
  abed = {'You are a foreigner, not able to comprehend anyone or anything, even something as undemanding as time.'},
  troy = {'You are a cotton-picking jock boy who is impossibly far from being a grown-up.'},
  shirley = {'You are a minority, a fragile personality, and an all-around dreadful parental figure.'},
  annie = {'You are a dirty Jewess, whose only friend in high school was a bottle of pills.'},
  pierce = {'You are one of the biggest disappointments to the name of Hawkthorne and will never be accepted in our family.'},
  britta = {'You are a false-protesting Swedish dog, formed by generations of race-mixing with laplanders. Youre basically a finn.',
  					'Youre the worst'},
  jeff = {'You are an unseasonably tan egotist who comes from a broken family with a father who does not love or care for you.'},
  gilbert = {'You are the bastard offspring of a colored seductress and an unknown, weak-willed miscegenist.'},
  dean = {'You are a pansexual imp, with an abundance of impulses and fetishes that no one can possibly understand.'},
  chang = {'You are a rice-eating vagrant, psychotic teacher, lone wolf, murderous security guard, and a forgetful plotting lunatic.'},
  guzman = {'You are one of the worst actors alive, tainting Boogie Nights with your disgraceful southern structure.'},
  fatneil = {'You are a dungeon-loving nerd who cant help eating everything in sight, basting your chubby cheeks in tears of gravy as you try to keep hold of that miserable thing you call "your life".'},
  buddy = {'You are an insecure wreck who panders to popular individuals when they come into your radar.'},
  vicedean = {'You are an overweight man who cant get a grip on his life, let alone his school, and cant tell a difference between a right-hand man and a murderer.'},
  leonard = {' You are a war veteran, unable to recover from your memories, instead hiding them by playing your money away and drowning your sorrows in hip flasks of whisky.'},
  vaughn = {'You are a miniscule-nippled wannabe-rebel who asks the sky for help and sings about meaningless feelings that Im surprised even YOU care about.'},
  duncan = {'You are a British slob, sticking your rod in anything that remotely resembles a woman, and cant teach a single class without a drink.'},
  kevin = {'You are nothing but a figment of a psychos imagination, leading a fake double life that will still never accomplish anything except be a puppet of a coloured power-hungry miscreant.'},
  rich = {'You are a flawed pretty boy who thinks that by being as successful as can be he might be able to win back the heart of a mother who never loved him in the first place.'},
  garrett = {'You are a weak-willed individual who will never amount to anything except the most accidents in a single day.'},
  vicki = {'You are a cookie-cutter who has no other distinguishing features than the thick slabs of fat you call legs.'},
  misc = {},
}

--[[general insults with no use yet
"Why your not even fit to be an ivory buffer."
"As to be expected of the common stock" 
"The best way to dispose of you would be with a Hawthorne brand Moist Towelette!" 
"It's not your fault, blame your lineage."
'You are just an average-looking guy with a big chin.',
'You are streets behind.' ,
'Your team is Al Gore because your views are wrong.' ,
'You are like the exact opposite of an anti-oxidant.' 
'Your feet are long and stupid. '
'Life sued you and you lost.' 
'You are a bad rowboat, someone should sink you. '
'Were you born that way, or did you start off normal and then get wiener? '
'You are a puff of hot air from the lips of a ghost in the shadow of a unicorns dream.' 
'You are the AT&T of people.' 
'You are human tennis elbow. '
'You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth.' 
'You are the opposite of Batman.' 
'Your love is weird, and toxic, and it destroys everything it touches!' 
'Shouldnt you be making weird art movies or well-engineered cars?'

'If you get any nuttier, they are going to put you on The View. '
'You are crazytown banana pants.' 
'What are you, a North Korean seamstress?' 
'Your demographics historical vanity is well-documented! '
'You look like a pizza guy who couldnt make it into porn. '
'Youre a monster, youre Hitler, youre a racist pedophile!' 
'If you had let being bad at something stop you, you wouldnt be here. '
'It must be hard to find someone willing to stomach your imminent dementia and present incontinence. '
'Ive always thought you were a joke and this isnt disproving the theory. '
'If a mechanical spider was tearing you to pieces, Tom Selleck would just stand there and watch you die. '
'Id like to see you try that without the benefit of your stylish clothing. '
'Go tongue Chang.'
'I thought you were like Bill Murray in any of his films, but youre more like Michael Douglas in any of his films.'
'You non-miraculous son of a bitch.']]