HE = [

    ['a superhumanly strong','an underprivileged','a globe-trotting','an impetuous','a shy','a suave','a notorious','a one-legged','an all-American','a short-sighted','an otherworldly','a hate-fuelled','a scrappy','an unconventional','a jaded','a leather-clad','a fiendish','a Nobel prize-winning','a suicidal','a maverick','a bookish','an old-fashioned','a witless','a lounge-singing','a war-weary','a scarfaced','a gun-slinging','an obese','a time-tossed','a benighted','an uncontrollable','an immortal','an oversexed','a world-famous','an ungodly','a fast talking','a deeply religious','a lonely','a sword-wielding','a genetically engineered'],

    ['white trash','zombie','shark-wrestling','playboy','guitar-strumming','Jewish',
    'sweet-toothed','bohemian','crooked','chivalrous','moralistic','amnesiac','devious','drug-addicted',
    'voodoo','Catholic','overambitious','coffee-fuelled','pirate','misogynist','skateboarding',
    'arachnophobic','Amish','small-town','Republican','one-eyed','gay','guerilla','vegetarian',
    'dishevelled','alcoholic','flyboy','ninja','albino','hunchbacked','neurotic','umbrella-wielding',
    'native American','soccer-playing','day-dreaming'],

    ['grifter','stage actor','paramedic','gentleman spy','jungle king','hairdresser',
    'photographer','ex-con','vagrant','filmmaker','werewolf','senator','romance novelist','shaman','cop',
    'rock star','farmboy','cat burglar','cowboy','cyborg','inventor','assassin','boxer','dog-catcher',
    'master criminal','gangster','firefighter','househusband','dwarf','librarian','paranormal investigator',
    'Green Beret','waffle chef','vampire hunter','messiah','astronaut','sorceror','card sharp','matador',
    'barbarian'],

    ['with a robot buddy named Sparky','whom everyone believes is mad','gone bad',
    'with a mysterious suitcase handcuffed to his arm','living undercover at Ringling Bros. Circus',
    'searching for his wife''s true killer','who dotes on his loving old ma','looking for ''the Big One''',
    'who knows the secret of the alien invasion','on the edge','on a mission from God','with a secret',
    'in drag','plagued by the memory of his family''s brutal murder','looking for a cure to the poison coursing through his veins',
    'moving from town to town, helping folk in trouble',
    'who must take medication to keep him sane','who hangs with the wrong crowd',
    'possessed of the uncanny powers of an insect','with a winning smile and a way with the ladies',
    'fleeing from a secret government programme','from the ''hood','haunted by an iconic dead American confidante',
    'with a passion for fast cars','trapped in a world he never made','in a wheelchair',
    'on the hunt for the last specimen of a great and near-mythical creature','on the run',
    'for the 21st century','who hides his scarred face behind a mask','on the wrong side of the law',
    'with no name','from the Mississippi delta','with acid for blood','with nothing left to lose',
    'haunted by memories of ''Nam','on a search for his missing sister','on his last day in the job',
    'from a doomed world','who believes he can never love again']

]

SHE = [

    ['a radical','a green-fingered','a tortured','a time-travelling','a vivacious',
    'a scantily clad','a mistrustful','a violent','a transdimensional','a strong-willed','a ditzy','a man-hating',
    'a high-kicking','a blind','an elegant','a supernatural','a foxy','a bloodthirsty','a cynical','a beautiful',
    'a plucky','a sarcastic','a psychotic','a hard-bitten','a manipulative','an orphaned','a cosmopolitan',
    'a chain-smoking','a cold-hearted','a warm-hearted','a sharp-shooting','an enchanted','a wealthy','a pregnant',
    'a mentally unstable','a virginal','a brilliant','a disco-crazy','a provocative','an artistic'],

    ['tempestuous', 'Buddhist', 'foul-mouthed', 'nymphomaniac', 'green-skinned', 'impetuous', 'African-American','punk','hypochondriac','junkie','blonde','goth','insomniac','gypsy','mutant','renegade', 'tomboy','French-Canadian','motormouth','belly-dancing','communist','hip-hop','thirtysomething',
    'cigar-chomping','extravagent','out-of-work','Bolivian','mute','cat-loving','snooty','wisecracking',
    'red-headed','winged','kleptomaniac','antique-collecting','psychic','gold-digging','bisexual','paranoid',
    'streetsmart'],

    ['archaeologist','pearl diver','mechanic','detective','hooker','femme fatale',
    'former first lady','barmaid','fairy princess','magician''s assistant','schoolgirl','college professor',
    'angel','bounty hunter','opera singer','cab driver','soap star','doctor','politician','lawyer','nun',
    'snake charmer','journalist','bodyguard','vampire','stripper','Valkyrie','wrestler','mermaid','single mother',
    'safe cracker','traffic cop','research scientist','queen of the dead','Hell''s Angel','museum curator',
    'advertising executive','widow','mercenary','socialite'],

    ['on her way to prison for a murder she didn''t commit','trying to make a difference in a man''s world',
    'with the soul of a mighty warrior','looking for love in all the wrong places','with an MBA from Harvard',
    'who hides her beauty behind a pair of thick-framed spectacles','with the power to see death',
    'descended from a line of powerful witches','from a family of eight older brothers','with a flame-thrower',
    'with her own daytime radio talk show','living on borrowed time','who can talk to animals',
    'prone to fits of savage, blood-crazed rage','who don''t take no shit from nobody','with a knack for trouble',
    'who believes she is the reincarnation of an ancient Egyptian queen','fleeing from a Satanic cult',
    'on the trail of a serial killer','with a birthmark shaped like Liberty''s torch',
    'in the witness protection scheme','from out of town','from aristocratic European stock',
    'living homeless in New York''s sewers','with only herself to blame','from beyond the grave',
    'married to the Mob','from the wrong side of the tracks','from a secret island of warrior women',
    'from Mars','with someone else''s memories','from a different time and place','operating on the wrong side of the law',
    'who inherited a spooky stately manor from her late maiden aunt','who dreams of becoming Elvis',
    'with a song in her heart and a spring in her step','in the wrong place at the wrong time',
    'with an incredible destiny','with the power to bend men''s minds','with an evil twin sister']

]

TITLE = [

    ['FATAL', 'PRIMAL', 'BASIC', 'LETHAL',
    'FINAL', 'CLEAR', 'DIRTY', 'RED', 'FOREIGN', 'PRIMARY', 'EXECUTIVE',
    'BLOOD', 'HARD', 'STEEL', 'TERMINAL', 'HOT', 'COLD', 'TOTAL', 'PROGNOSIS:',
    'BURNING', 'FAST', 'PAINFUL', 'MISSION:', 'DEADLY', 'PARTIAL',
    'RAGING', 'CORDIAL'],

    ['DECISION', 'INCISION', 'CONCLUSION',
    'CONCUSSION', 'HEAT', 'FIRE', 'RECOIL', 'INSTINCT', 'DESIRE', 'WEAPON',
    'BADGE', 'DEED', 'JUSTICE', 'HEAT', 'VENGEANCE', 'RECESSION', 'COMBUSTION',
    'JUDGEMENT', 'WARNING', 'AWAKENING', 'JURISDICTION', 'BASIS', 'FINDINGS',
    'INJECTION', 'REJECTION', 'REMISSION', 'DIGESTION', 'IDENTITY',
    'DISPERSION'],

    ['II','III','IV','V','VI','VII','VIII','IX','X','XI','XII','XIII','XIV','XV','XVI','XVII','XVIII','XIX']

]

class TheyFightCrime < Plugin
    def help(plugin, topic="")
        "movieplot => generate a random movie scenario. movietitle => generate a random movie title."
    end

    def get_random_things(thing_array)
        thing_array.map { |things| things.pick_one }
    end

    def movieplot(m, params)
        he_things = get_random_things(HE)
        she_things = get_random_things(SHE)
        m.reply "Summary: He's #{he_things.join " "}. She's #{she_things.join " "}. They fight crime."
    end

    def movietitle(m, params)
        title_things = get_random_things(TITLE)
        m.reply "Title: #{title_things.join " "}"
    end
end

plugin = TheyFightCrime.new
plugin.map 'movieplot'
plugin.map 'movietitle'
