Hassles from start to finish
I travel a lot, and I firmly believe in truth in advertising. Therefore, I think this Sheraton should be required to issue the following to all guests.
"We know that when you travel all day and arrive at your hotel - exhausted after fighting Dallas traffic - that you just want to check in and get in your jammies. However, we've instituted the worlds stupidest parking policy. In an attempt to fleece our Priceline guests we've gated part of our parking lot and require all guests to park there. So, you can check in and then drag all your stuff back out to the car, move it half way round the building, drag all your stuff back in OR you can take your stuff up, come back down, move the car half way round the building, come all the way back in and then go to bed. Either way, it'll be a pain.
We know that you'll want to get a good nights sleep before your big presentation. But between the excessive traffic noise coming through our cheap windows, the ancient air con that sounds like a 747 engine or the insanely loud plumbing (complete with neighbors that take 45 minute showers @ 2am) - there's no chance in hell.
You might want to know the time, so we provide each room with an "auto time set" clock. However, that clock will be 22 minutes off and CAN'T BE ADJUSTED. We're serious. Thinking of ironing? No problem - but the iron will be so old that all the markings on the indicator will be gone meaning you'll have no idea what setting the damn thing is on.
At the Sheraton, we like both nickels AND dimes so expect extra charges for everything, from wifi to bottled water. If we can make an extra buck AND hassle you, we've done our job.
Once again, thanks for staying at the Sheraton. We've worked really hard to make even the simplest things difficult for you and we think you'll notice the effort. You'll certainly notice when you check out and we fail to tell you that you need your key to EXIT our stupid lot and you have to re-park your car and go back in. Thanks, suckers!"